A few weeks ago I was doing some shopping at Zellers and while at the check out, the young-ish girl working the till asked me if the marking on my baby son's arm was a tattoo. Really? Yes really...I was so taken back that all I could say was, "God no!." I explained that it was a birthmark and would eventually fade and that he had to wait until he was 5 to get his first tattoo. I laughed off the situation, but deep down it really did make me sad. I guess not even sad for my son, but maybe sad for myself. I'm not sure exactly which. He doesn't even realize that it's there, no less that it looks any different from anybody else, so it must be me that I'm feeling sorry for...
When Cohen was born (almost a year ago...sad face...) there was a small bruise-like mark on his hand. We thought nothing of it, but the nurse said that they would note it and check on it periodically. Two weeks later, there was a fire engine red mark reaching from his knuckles to his inner elbow. At this point it didn't bother me in the slightest; I mean not at all! By the end of his first month, the flat red mark had become very raised and much brighter than before. It looked sore. I knew from research and talking to his doctor that it was a strawberry hemangioma and wouldn't cause him any pain, but without explanation, how would I expect others to know that. "No, I didn't burn him with a straightening iron..."
Cohen was born is the summer and so didn't go out and about much in the early months (paranoid mommy). It wasn't until later in the season and into Fall that we really started venturing out. Being that it was cooler at this point, we always dressed our little man in long sleeves, thus covering his arm. Not on purpose, but for warmth. Now, as another summer is well upon us, I find myself sick to my stomach...
It wasn't until a birthday party last weekend that I really realized how I've been feeling. It was a hot day. A wonderfully sunny summer day. Cohen was wearing a long sleeved undershirt under a jumper. He was the only person, baby or adult, wearing anything more than a t-shirt. I have been hiding his arm. Hiding it not only out in the world, but also in any photo that I make public or decide to display in my home. Whether subconsciously or not, I do not know, but I have been. As I sit here typing, I find myself crying. Am I ashamed of my beautiful baby boy? Of course not! I love him so much that it hurts sometimes. He is beautiful and absolutely perfect in my eyes. I just wish that that I wasn't so concerned about what others may think. It seems so petty for me to worry about a blemish that will eventually fade, when there are kids out there that are truly sick or dealing with much more permanent ailments or difficulties. I can't help how I have felt in the past, but I am going to try my hardest from now on to think of this as what it is, temporary and a mark that is part of him and makes him the unique person that he is.
So, from now on if it's a hot day, you will see my gorgeous baby boy with amazing blue eyes, blond hair so light that it looks like nothing more than sparkles, and a toothy grin that'll melt any heart, in a tee-shirt or maybe even topless if the mood strikes me (lathered in sun screen mind you)!!
I must add that I am completely fine answering any questions that anybody may have regarding his birth mark...as long as has nothing to do with getting my baby a tattoo...lol!!
http://www.skinsight.com/infant/infantileHemangioma.htm
That's so interesting! I think he is gorgeous no matter what. A friend of ours, her little boy was born with one on his head and had to have it removed when he was newborn because it was a problem. I see nothing wrong with Cohen's and find it really strange that someone would think you are tatooing your baby. What a weird thing to ask? If anything it should be a conversation starter like "I don't mean to pry but I was just curious what that is on his arm? and does it hurt?" I'd say that's a little more appropriate then "Are you tatooing your almost one year old?" She sounded like a bit of an airhead. Thank you for sharing, he is a handsome boy with or without it! Both your children are cuties.
ReplyDeleteCohen has been made perfect. We live this every day. Do we shield Josh from the outside world because they'll know he's different? It would sure cause a lot less heartbreak for him. I have to remember that he was made the way he is for a reason. Maybe to be understanding for those who have differences. Cohen is beautiful and I'm so glad that you aren't hiding him anymore. You've no reason to feel guilty either Mel, you were trying to do the best you could and now that you've realized that you want to make an effort to change others ignorance into empowerment for your family, you are going to make a difference in a lot of peoples lives. What a great lesson to teach Nevada too. Lots of love.
ReplyDeleteI agree Mel, Cohen is absolutely adorable know matter what anyone else says! I think I would have felt the same way you did - as a Mother we just want our children to feel happy, loved, and protect them from hurt. You are a great Mom and I am sure Cohen (and Nevada) will grow up knowing just how much they are loved!!!!
ReplyDeleteCohen is absolutely gorgeous, just like his parents = ) . I think you handled the situation better then I would have... He'll be fine, because he's got your love, and that's all he needs... some people can't see beyond our flaws, and those people are the ones with the true flaws.... you're family is gorgeous, and you should be proud = )
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